I've turned ultra mean and nasty, I hate everyone and everything, I WANT TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE AND ENJOY A CUP OF COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I don't think I can continue this quit, I've never wanted to smoke so bad, ever.
I have convinced myself that quitting is self inflicting torture.
I've tried increasing my Chantix back to 2 a day without success of any kind - is it possible you think to want to smoke even more on a full dose?
The only thing that has kept me from smoking a cigarette is that I will hate myself even more than I do now.
I don't want to decorate or celebrate the holidays at all, I don't want to see or talk with my kids and I'd rather my husband of 31 years would just move out.
Does this give you any indication of the place I'm at???
HELP!!!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
This is no longer a viable solution
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8 COMMENTS:
MamaFlo, I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a rough patch right now. I understand. I go through stretches that make the word challenge sound like something easy, but then it evens back out eventually. It will for you, too, if you just hang in there. Remember Thanksgiving? You were rockin' it easy-style that day, and there are more of those days ahead for you, and you know it, even if it's not at the top of your mind right now. You've come too far to turn back now, MamaFlo, and I'm routing for you because I know you are a tough woman and that you can totally do this because you already have been. Hang tough through the bad patch, and you will be even stronger on the other side.
My $0.03 anyway ;)
Maggie, it helps "some" and I appreciate being able to yell for help and know that there are people out there that understand what I am going through. My husband just thinks I have lost my friggin mind (he has never smoked).
This is the worst patch ever and it feels like I'm not even taking medication - why?
Deb
MamaFlo, I feel terrible that you are having such a rough time so far into your quit. If it's any consolation, I think it's totally normal. I can't think of anything to do other than let you know that you have my unwavering support - I am sending every good thought I can directly at you and hoping you can get through this awful period without smoking again. You have become a friend, and I fight for my friends. I know you are strong enough to do this - your previous posts have proven that you really don't want to be a smoker again. Please don't hate yourself - you have accomplished so much in a very short time, and you deserve to congratulate yourself for it. Have you tried calling the Chantix help line and explaining the problem to them? I'm sure they have had success with other Chantix users who feel the way you do. One thing I have done when I've felt like I wanted to smoke again is re-read my postings. I've also re-read your postings and Maggie's postings, and it really helped me stay focused. I will keep sending lots of great thoughts your way. If there is any other way I can help you get through this, let me know. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Hey Bob,
Thanks for the kind words to Mamaflo. But let me tell you even friendships can suffer over these issues when exposed "in person" with the BEAST !
Bob's idea to call the Chantix line is a good one! I still carry the card with me, just in case. The number is 877-chantix.
Please remember that even if you have already taken a some puffs (I peeked at your comments over at Bob's blog), it doesn't mean you can't get right back on this path, and it doesn't mean that you have to go back to smoking. Every effort you have made to this point counts, regardless of weak moments. I had those, too, and I puffed. I came back.
MamaFlo, I'm rambling and scrambling here trying to find magic words, but I know there are none and that we each have our own battle. So, instead of more ramble, I'm sending you the biggest virtual hugs ever hoping the best for you. No matter what, we're routing for you!!
I made it through today.
Thanks for the support.
So wonderful to hear! I'm proud of you knowing just how damn hard those hard days can be. You are awesome!
I'm glad to hear it, MamaFlo. I'll keep you in my thoughts today!
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