Another Day without Smoking

Hi, how is everyone? Staying Quit I hope.
Yeee gads, why do men piss off their wives - don't they understand it's detrimental to their overall well being? Well, mine has managed to start our day off on the wrong foot, complaining about what I'm not doing while he still isn't doing what I asked of him months ago (and continue to remind him of doing).
We have someone coming to stretch our carpeting this morning, doctor's appts and errands this afternoon and Halloween tonight (the "holiday" I like the least).
I have a lot to do before this time next week which is probably good as it will give me little time to think about smoking or cigarettes.

Not much to say today.

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day 34 without a cigarette

Another gorgeous day in South Texas - Wow, I can't ever remember this many glorious days in a row since we moved here in 1992.
I've really been wondering lately why I've been wanting to smoke, there is no other way to describe it except to say, I'd really like to sit outside on my patio with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. This isn't to say that the wantings/urges/cravings or any other words used for it, are anything like they would have been prior to the Chantix but they are there nonetheless. The Chantix is lessening it's overall effect on me - dreams are less pronounced, difficulty sleeping is less pronounced, constipation is less too............OMG, could it be that the Chantix has hit it's apex with me and will continue to loose it's effect? I guess there are stranger things and everyone is different.........hmmmmm, I will tell my PCP about this when I see him next.
But, even with everything I said above, I have fought off those cigarette thoughts and I am still smoke free.

I hope everyone else is doing well with their quit.
Have a wonderful Monday friends!!!!

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Lost count of the # of days but still not smoking

Another gorgeous autumn day in South Texas. My dear husband and I went outside early this afternoon and cut tree limbs to drag out front for trash pick up - was exhausting but felt good to get the exercise.

The family crap continues and makes me happy as hell that I live here and they live 1000 miles away.

I was thinking......there have been a number of stressors present in the last few weeks that I have gotten through without smoking - yes I've thought about wanting a cigarette and yes even one time lit a cigarette for a single drag but I've made it through and unscathed. I tried something today that someone told me about (and it actually worked), I took a large long bolt and a nut and when I thought about a cigarette I instead would play with this nut and bolt, screwing on the nut and then unscrewing - urge went away and I kept those hands busy.

I think I'm making it though and that brings a smile to my face and a real sense of satisfaction to my spirit. In the process of this struggle I have also come in contact with some awesome men and women who share my struggle and without you all and the encouragement and love of my family, I would still be a smoker.
Thats my Ahhhhhh for today.

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Another Day WITHOUT SMOKING

Wow, I'm writing late today!
I hope everyone is doing something wonderful and relaxing this weekend and of course, not smoking :).
It was another gorgeous autumn day in South Texas, I slept wonderfully last night (only my second tremendous nights sleep since I started taking Chantix). My back injury is barely noticeable at all today so maybe life is returning to normal.
I have wanted to smoke a good part of the day but I've been working things out with a couple issues relating to the change in my computer operating system yesterday and when I'm messing with technology stuff I always get a little nervous (although I love tech toys).
I'm also dealing with a family issue............since y'all are about as close to me as family.............I'm the oldest of 7 children and I found out yesterday that my baby brother (the youngest of 7 and 16 years my junior) attempted suicide yesterday. I live in South Texas and the rest of the family lives in Missouri. Well anyway, he's alive and has been involuntarily committed for longer than the official 72 hours.

I guess this would make anyone want to smoke right?
I haven't smoked and I don't plan on smoking but damn it, I want a cigarette!!!!!!
I want that Ahhhhhhhh feeling, just for awhile (knowing me, I'd love that long lost friend so much I'd never stop). Okay, I'm talking myself out of smoking just knowing it would be a return to my old habit.

I hope everyone else is relaxed and enjoying their weekend smoke free.

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day 31 without smoking

Hello there fellow quitters!
I'm in a great mood today, my new Operating System (Leopard) arrived for the Macs in my house and it's so exciting, it's like getting a new toy!!!!!
BUT (yes there is Always a But)
When I play with new technologies and I have time while it's downloading, etc, I (used to) loved having a cigarette and then another to toast my victory. It was anti-climatic as far as that was concerned :( but then again, we woman are used to anti-climatic right :):):).

Y'all are my strength, keep that quit going!!!

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

30 Days of being a NON-SMOKER

I don't know if I figure 27 days or 30 days to be my month but either way, I have a month under my belt - Wow! I'm doing my best not to think about smoking or cigarettes or whatever and just let life happen - do you think a blog is counter productive at a point? My only want right now is to stay a non-smoker and not even think about it. I want to just go on my merry way living life without cigarettes and not thinking about them. Are we our own worst enemy when it comes to the urges?

How is everyone else doing? I hope you are all keeping on your quit.
Thanks everyone, I couldn't do this without your encouragement!!

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day 29 Still not smoking

Hi Everyone! How are the quits coming?
With only one drag in over 4 weeks, I'd say "So far, So Good". I never thought this would happen, never did I think I could go 4 weeks without smoking without hurting another human being ;). The anxiety I felt the one time I tried to quit was enough to never try again but that was before Chantix. I sure am happy that I wasn't one of the people that experienced the worst side effects that could happen with this drug.

When I look at my quit meter, I'm shocked at how many cigarettes I would have smoked (those numbers are on 20 cigarettes a day), it's no wonder I was coughing all the time and smelled like a dirty ashtray. ICK!!!!
Those days are behind me now and there are better days on the horizon.

To all of my quit buddies - thank you so much for being there, for your encouragement and companionship - Thank You!!!!

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Been a busy day - Day 28

Sorry I'm late today but I've had "stuff to do". How is everyone doing on their quit??

It's been a month now, 4 weeks, oh yes!!! Still not smoking and feeling a little more confident today, maybe that's because I got an awesome nights sleep last night. It was down in the 40's here (which is alot to say about South Texas) and I slept cuddled under my down comforter and I slept like a baby. I can hardly wait to sleep again tonight ;).

My smoking sister and her husband will be arriving two weeks from tomorrow and I'm in hopes my Chantix can keep me grounded enough not to be miserable wanting to smoke the whole time they are here. I know, cross that bridge when I get there.

Do any of you use a Mac?

Well, I'm going to go outside and enjoy some more of this fabulous autumn day.
Thanks for being there, Maggie, and Sue, and Chris - couldn't do this without you all!!!

I am an addict. I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

****EDIT****
Husband pissed me off and I lit a cigarette and took ONE DRAG - damn it tasted sooooo good. Yes that is all - ONE DRAG and the Devil made me do it - Damn Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 27 and still not smoking

How is everyone's quit coming along?
I'm still quit and still want to smoke..........maybe everyone is right, maybe this is just a faze I'm going through in my quit and it will lessen as time goes on.
The weather has finally turned to autumn, a real honest to goodness autumn. The front came in through the night last night with storms and howling wind and left us highs in the 50's today with lows tonight in the low 40's expected - yes, perfect smoking weather - Hahhaaaahaha
Every time my husband leaves the house I fantasize about having a cigarette but then I realize that he'd be able to smell it the minute he came home and I leave the thought. In fact, I was thinking about it last night after I got into bed and within record time he was sound asleep snoring and I thought, I wonder if he'd notice if I went and had a cigarette.........No I didn't.
I'm amazed that for the first few weeks of my quit that I didn't really "think" about smoking and now it's in my thoughts constantly.

Oh yeah, my son called me this morning and our first grandchild is going to be a BOY!!! The baby is 17 weeks and 3 days along. Mother and baby are doing fantastic!

I am an addict and I understand that I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow (hopefully) not to smoke today.

This new Chantix prescription

I swear this new prescription is not the same strength! Within 24 hours of taking the new prescription my cravings returned and they continue. I'm going to have to make a trip to the pharmacy cause this just isn't right. I'm having the kind of urges/cravings I have experienced without any medication, like you want to hurt someone to get a cigarette, like I'm a dope fiend or something - this is horrible!!!!!
I'm not ready for this and I'm afraid I'm going to start smoking again - HELP!!!!! No I haven't smoked a cigarette but I've been tempted more in the last 3 days than I've been since I quit just shy of 4 weeks ago. DAMN IT!!

I'm an addict and I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow (hopefully I can keep this vow) to not smoke today.

Day 25 - Still not smoking

Good Morning! I hope everyone is being successful at their quit.
I'm moving right along but intermixed with some tough times. I hope the last two days were the last I feel of the strong urges for awhile at least - yeeee gads, it was horrible.
There sure will be a lot of trigger times ahead to finish out 2007; cooler temps, family visits, holidays, vacations..........OMG!!
Don't get me wrong, I really am proud of this accomplishment, happy about physically feeling much better, and definitely smelling better, not to mention I will someday save a good amount of money (right now affording the Chantix without my insurance covering this drug means it's as expensive as the cigarettes). The trade offs for not smoking are immeasurable in importance to my life.
I will be glad when my back stops hurting and I can maybe start walking now with cooler weather. Being able to get my wind back to be able to walk was another reason I quit smoking.
I'm putting on some pounds (unusual for me), my pants are beginning to tighten and I need to loose this weight like right now!

Storms moving in tomorrow night with another cool front. More gorgeous weather on the horizon.
Until next time...........keep staying quit!
Thanks everyone for your support and friendship.

I am an addict, I understand that I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day 24 - Still not Smoking

What's going on, why are the urges back strong as ever? Go away, I don't want you anymore, you aren't welcome in fact, I want you to leave and never come back!!!!!!
On a serious note (actually, the above statement is true and I was being serious), I do want a cigarette, after 4 weeks on the Chantix it doesn't seem to be doing the same thing any longer, I want to smoke and the urge is really strong, strong enough that it's possible I will give in - OMG NO!!!
The funny thing about this is that this started happening with the new prescription, the one in the bottle, the one my doctor wrote out incorrectly - what I'm taking now is the 1mg tablet twice a day. That's correct isn't it?

Thank you in advance for your input and support.

I'm an addict and I understand I will always be one cigarette away from a pack a day habit.
I vow to not smoke today.

I Had a Dream....

In my dreams last night I was smoking, and so darn real that when I woke up I wondered if it had been a dream or if I had really smoked cigarettes. OMG it was so vivid, so unbelievably real. I will admit that when I got out of bed the urge to actually smoke was rather intense and I quick had two pieces of toast and took my Chantix.
I'm thinking that my dreams were prompted with the news that my sister and her husband (both smokers) will be coming for their visit in 3 weeks. I'm probably going to be crawling the walls wanting a cigarette but I'm not going to smoke, I can't go backwards, I just can't.
This will be good practice for my upcoming flight and cruise. I need a dry run to make sure I'm not going to want to jump off my cabin's balcony the first time I'm faced with smokers en mass.

My back is slowly but surely recovering from my fall earlier this week and I'm beginning to move without constant pain.

Thanks for the support friends!

Admission & Vow:
I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Need to smoke averted

I got up this morning to my husband telling me my daughter (28) was planning a surprise to thank me for quitting smoking.............I have to tell you, I hate surprises, I'm a planner, I guess almost a control freak. Anyway, she was bringing my sister and her husband down here from rural Missouri. WRONG! You don't surprise me with wishing I had rewashed the sheets in the guest bedroom, dusting, and vacuuming. You don't surprise me with company when there is nothing left in the refrigerator except leftovers. You don't surprise me when your husband has had plans to attend a seminar for weeks the same time they will be here.
He told me about the "surprise" and I was furious, the first thing I said was "I want a cigarette right now, in fact, I want to chain smoke."
I got online and told my sister I knew, she was a little upset but we talked about it and all is fine, they will come, stay here and we'll have a nice time. AND, I get to plan.

I like surprises when they look like an upgraded room when my sister and I go to Vegas, a gift certificate for airline tickets, etc - not surprising me with family staying at my house and I need to do housework to get ready.

Still not smoking so that's good.

My admission & vow:
I am an addict, I understand that I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

3 Weeks without Smoking - Whaaahooooo!!!

3 weeks, I'm amazed and proud of myself but I will never let down my guard because I know it will be easy to slip in my quit (my friend Maggie showed me just how easily that can come about). But like Maggie, should I slip and fall, I will get right back with the program and my Original Quit.
I'm beginning to fill in the spare time I found I had not smoking or at least it feels that way, maybe I'm just adjusting to not smoking anymore.
Does there come a time when you don't think about not smoking anymore, don't think about what you are doing without, thinking about your quit, the Chantix, the side effects?
I sure hope so cause I'm tired of thinking about it, I want it to just be my life now - no cigarettes, no smoking.

How is everyone doing?
Thanks encouragers and supporters and friends - I could not have gotten this far without you!!

My admission & vow:
I am an addict, I understand that I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day 20 - No Cigarettes

I was tempted big time last night. Went to eat with hubby and FIL at Taco Cabana and we sat outside (which incidentally was miserable due to the high humidity), when I was finished eating and sitting there bored to tears, all I wanted to do was to smoke a cigarette, I had even entertained the idea of panhandling for a cigarette! No I didn't smoke, but I sure wanted to!!
After we left and drove home, I was fine and continue to be fine. Just a weak moment I presume. Now I'm worried about going on my cruise and having a miserable time without a cigarette!!!
Damn this addiction!!
I'm going to beat this lifelong smoking sickness even if it's the last substantial thing I do with my life!

Hey Maggie, how are you and your husband feeling?
I read your post from today.........I'll post to your site instead of here.

Thanks everyone for continuing to encourage me and others.

My admission & vow:
I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day 19 - No cigarettes

It's almost 6:30am and way to early for this chick to be awake, especially on a Sunday. Still having a horrible time sleeping on the Chantix and to make matters worse, dear husband is a snor freak! I don't mind the dreaming but can't handle the in and out of sleep cycle. I'm the kind of person who could put their head on the pillow and that's all she wrote for at least 8-10 hours, I didn't even move once during the night, could never remember dreaming. I liked that dead as a rock sleep and hate this Chantix sleep.

I was about to finish up my first month of Chantix and called the pharmacy about needing the rest of my prescription (I brought in two prescriptions for the Chantix in the beginning). I went to pick it up yesterday afternoon and instead of the boxes, I got it in a pill container and there was only 30 blue pills inside with instructions for one pill a day. I didn't notice what appears to be an error until I got home. I don't know who made the error, the pharmacy in filling it or the doctor in writing it. What I think happened is/was this - the pharmacy read the prescription for the initial prescription to be one month instead of one cycle (12 weeks or 3 months) and then the second prescription was for the tapering off and instead of continuing with the first cycle they filled the second prescription.
I can call and bitch out the pharmacy later today when they open or call the doctor on Monday - your opinions please.........both you say (smiling), yes, I can do that too (LOL).

As I was writing the last few sentences of the last paragraph it comes across to me like I'm now an addict of the Chantix.......look, I just don't want to smoke anymore, I put those damn things down and don't want to pick them up again and that is probably the same reason I won't go back regardless, I'm stubborn and once I do something, I don't want that first attempt to be in vain, bottom line, I'm a **TCH - hey, can we use that word in our blogging? Seriously, I hate to start something and not finish it and I hate even more starting something and feeling like a failure or needing to do it over, I'm the do it and move forward kinda gal. At 52, I don't have lots of extra time to screw around with failed attempts at anything :):).

Enough of the moaning and groaning, I continue to be smoke and cigarette free and I'm loving the feeling more everyday. If I can get my sleep straightened out I'll be a happy camper.
Thanks buddies for your continued encouragement - couldn't do this without you. Good luck and continued success on all your quits. Another day, another dollar (or is that $4).

My Admission & Vow:
I am an addict. I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day 18 - Still not smoking

Another weekend without cigarettes and each one is easier to handle, in fact, each day I don't smoke makes the next day easier. I really do like not having the habit anymore and hopefully I'm stubborn enough to never go back. Everyone in my family is proud of my accomplishment and I'm grateful to them but the most important person to impress is myself and I've done just that.
The cost was never a reason for quitting (although I'm sure it's one for my husband), my health was. I used to say "everyone is going to die from something and my time might as well come with a cigarette in my mouth" - can you believe I said that? The fact is, when it did come down to quitting or dying, I quit thankfully.
I was talking to my son the other day who is a doctor (anesthesiologist) and he was telling me how big of a difference being quit for just this long would mean to him in surgery. He said doing cardiac surgery on a smoker is very dangerous and recovery is much longer and harder.

I'm looking forward to trying out my quit flying and on my cruise. Flying was always icky for me, all the waiting around and then the time on the plane and I couldn't wait to get off and find the quickest exit to have a cigarette. Of course I never wanted to check in too early and go through security cause I couldn't have another cigarette then........OMG, the cigarettes were controlling ME. The cruise experience is another thing all together, that relaxation time on my veranda with reading and smoking.............I think I may just miss that but alas - I do not smoke anymore and I will not allow myself to be tempted. There is enough food on the cruise to keep my mouth occupied :):):).

Thank you again blogging friends for helping me stay cigarette free for the last 18 days, I appreciate your support more than my words can express.
Have a Wonderful Saturday!!

My Admission & Vow:
I am an addict and I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.