Thanksgiving was easy

Tomorrow will be 2 months!!! Yipppeeee

Yesterday was a breeze, no one smoked and therefore I never thought about it beyond talking with my husband's cousin (who is an internist) about Chantix. He said he hasn't had any more success prescribing Chantix than Zyban - yeah sure, give me a break!!

How did everyone else do yesterday?
I thought about each and everyone of you and gave thanks for such a tremendous community of virtual strangers that I look to for support each and everyday.

May the coming season and the upcoming year give you more peace, happiness, love, security than you ever dreamed imaginable.

Just shy of 2 months

I'm still not smoking and still wanting a cigarette. I pray every night that this tugging will subside and I can actually experience a day (I'm praying for the rest of my life but I'll take what I can get right now) without wanting a cigarette. I can tell you all the reasons I shouldn't smoke, every reason why I quit in the beginning, even reasons that have surfaced since I've quit, but for some reason I still want to smoke. Yes I'm down to one 1mg tablet a day of my Chantix but to be honest, I'm not feeling any different now than I felt when I was taking 2 tablets a day.
The strongest of the tuggings don't last very long and I can endure but damn it I want to hate cigarettes.

I see that some of you are hitting real big markers in your quits - Congratulations!!
Be safe during the holiday season everyone and stay with your quits.
Thanks for being my quit buddies!

I think I'm more amazed at the number of cigarettes I haven't smoked (via my ticker) than the days it's been (which is short in comparison to some of the people who's blogs I post to).
I know I've remarked on the topic of physical appearance but it's so significant in my case that I have to say something again - my gosh how cigarettes were ruining my complexion, it's soooo different now, skin is tighter, less yellowed and the lines around my mouth are slowing disappearing. Just imagine how much younger we'd all look had we never picked up that dirty habit to begin with!!!
I'm also feeling better about myself and the sex life has picked up a great deal too...........what the ^%$#*$ was I doing to myself all those years - this is the way it could have been all along??? Stupid, stupid me!!!!!!!

I'm amazed that Thanksgiving is this coming week and Christmas is hardly a stones throw from today - I hear so much Christmas music on the radio that I try to stay away from turning it on. When I was a little girl, there wasn't a Christmas song to be heard before the day after Thanksgiving and never would there have been holiday decorations or Christmas lights on before then. Everything has become so commercialized and it saddens me. My favorite day of the year is Christmas Eve, it's always been a day for family, and eating, and laughing, taking a drive and looking at the Christmas lights (luminaries are my favorite) and then coming home and opening up gifts. Unfortunately the holidays this year will not include my son and his wife. They had gone out of town for an extended weekend last weekend and their home was burglarized - they came home to their front door being busted off the hinges and about 6k worth of technology lost. Luckily it was only stuff and insurance will replace most of it. It's just that they are feeling pretty vulnerable and would rather stay at home and feel safe. I understand but it will still be tough without them. My daughter will be around though as will my FIL (he's old) and other family - we'll make due and still keep the traditional things about Christmas Eve. Oh yeah, I made Thanksgiving on Christmas since we go to other family for Thanksgiving and then end up with no left overs - this way we do :).

Okay, I've rambled, thanks for listening.
Thank you most of all for being my friends, for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I wish each and every one of you a Happy Thanksgiving and Joyous Holiday Season.

I know I mentioned this previously but.........after my initial pack of Chantix, I haven't felt like it was the same medication, there just wasn't the umph. ALL side effects have left me and I'm wanting a cigarette now more than ever. I still haven't stopped but I've missed a few doses here and there. I find myself periodically bargaining with the devil so to speak for just a couple drags (the biggest reason I haven't actually smoked is because my husband would be able to smell it and my "secret" would be let out of the bag). That sounds real bad :(.
I'm going to start weening myself off the Chantix beginning today - half a pill twice a day and we'll see how it goes - if I need to supplement with a full dose I can.
Now with over 50 days of not smoking, I really don't want to go back down that road again, I'd like to stay quit but I'm beginning to think the Chantix has just put off the inevitable, I'm still going to struggle to stay quit.

What's everyone doing for Thanksgiving?
Hopefully I will be cooking here at home.......I love to cook even though I panic in needing to get everything to the table still warm and without cooking at home I wouldn't have leftovers :).

Hopefully everyone will stay with their quits over the holidays - my best wishes daily everyone!

The holidays are almost here - where has 2007 gone????

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!!
I've just about recovered from company and ready to start thinking about the holidays ahead. It's hard to believe that next Thursday is Thanksgiving already, where has the year gone???
I want our holidays to be different this year, don't know specifically how I'll do that but I feel like a change. The neighbors across the street catty cornered from us started putting up their decorations - they are elderly and it takes them a very long time as they put up a lot of decoration. I love lights but not so much on the decorations, I like them when they are soft and dream like. We have had years where we have put up lights but most of the time we don't.
I so enjoy Christmas Eve - more so than any other time of the season.

I've decided that on Dec 1, I will start decreasing my Chantix to half twice a day. It isn't that the Chantix is bothering me, in fact I don't know I'm taking it other than it helping me "some" with not wanting a cigarette so much - the fuzzy head, wicked dreams, etc have long left me. What have those of you who tappered off found?

Well, time to get a move on, have some housework to do today.
Thanks for being there for me!

I'm Back

and I'm still not smoking, have forgotten to take my morning Chantix 2 of the last 5 days and boy did I know it!!! I'm still not ready to be without this crutch.
Company is gone, it was a very nice visit but they both smoke and it was tough, everyday, every cigarette they smoked was hard on me and I was grouchy, at times the attitude was closer to that of a bitch. But it's over, and I didn't smoke (that's all that counts now isn't it).
I'm beginning to loose those 3 pounds I gained when I quit smoking - Yeah!!! I was good to myself over the last week and bought myself some new clothes............my younger sister and my 28 year old daughter made me feel like I was looking like a much more mature lady than my spry 52 years - don't get me wrong, didn't loose my mind and start dressing like a hoochy mama but I've started to "update" my wardrobe.

I have thought about each one of you numerous times during my company's visit and wanted oh so much to spend time online but it would have been "rude" so I waited until I could safely drop them off at the airport.
Y'all are my rocks, my daily dose of inspiration and I thank you for your outstanding attitudes!!!

I hope you are all staying with your quits.

I am an addict and I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Still Smoke Free

Even with smoking visitors, not as hard as I thought it could be...........hope this continues the entire time they are here.
I thought I would get more out of "smelling" their cigarettes than I did - Shucks!!

I'll check in periodically to read about everyone's quit. Keep it up and thanks for the encouragement and friendship you show me.


I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarettes away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

It's Saturday and I'm still not smoking

I'll let my trusty ole quit meter tell you how long it's been since I last smoked cause I need to look at my quit another way.........I don't want to smoke any longer but the triggers seem to be taking on a new way of calling out my name. These are stronger than the tuggings that Dear Maggie so affectionately calls them. I don't know if the Chantix has reached it's peak with me or what but I think about smoking much more often and for longer periods than I did the first few weeks on Chantix. When we go out for dinner, I still finish quicker than anyone and all I can think of is not wanting to sit there any longer, I need to get up........I know I'm not going to smoke but I'm also not used to sitting there and putting up with the banter cause normally I would be outside alone with my cancer stix. Please tell me this isn't going to last forever!!!
If I'm kept extremely busy, I'm okay but give me down time and smoking is all I can think about.

I still have a fair amount of busy work to do before my visitors arrive on Wednesday (they are the smokers) so I better get the lead out of my ass and get busy.

Have a wonderful weekend and stay quit!!

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.

Day ?????? I forget

I've decided to try not thinking of this quit in days but rather just not smoking anymore......hopefully the days lead to weeks leads to months leads to years. We all want that don't we?
My sister is amazed that my attitude/frame of being is so positive - as I have talked about here, she quit for 11 months a few years back and was a crazy lady, even going as far as going to the local WalMart to pick fights with perfect strangers. She went back to smoking to loose the excess weight, evidently she gained a lot, and to aid her nasty assed disposition. Although she says she has no plan on trying another quit anytime soon, I'm in hopes my quit will help her decide to make 2008 one she doesn't smoke through.

We have been doing autumn clean up/fix up around our house and it feels great, everything gets moved to be cleaned, vacuumed, repaired. Feels like a new house through the holidays.

Okay, I've spent enough time for awhile on the computer - back to work!!!

I am an addict, I understand I will always be one cigarette away from my pack a day habit.
I vow not to smoke today.