I forget with most posts to talk about not smoking anymore, sometimes I think it's because I don't WANT to think about smoking, and the other reason is because I DON'T THINK ABOUT SMOKING much anymore.
I was talking with my PCP yesterday about it and he said I shouldn't concentrate on when I was a smoker, I should just live life as a non-smoker (seems to me that they overlap some). He was genuinely proud of my accomplishment to stop smoking and to have quit taking the Chantix and still not smoke. When he was listening to my lungs, I told him that there are still times when I "think" I want a cigarette - he abruptly stopped what he was doing and looked at me with such disappointment in his eyes......hey, I didn't say I was having a cigarette, I said there are times when I "think" I want a cigarette. He took a few moments and we discussed the habits/lifestyle that are so firmly ingrained in smokers minds - I told him that I wouldn't smoke again regardless of how bad I thought I wanted a cigarette. I don't think he was convinced but I quickly tried to change the subject.
I'm just a few days shy of my 5 month marker and I know I won't smoke a cigarette again.......I'm stubborn and once I make up my mind about something, there's no changing it.
I started back on my Spiriva (My PCP started me on it while I was still smoking but starting to cut back and I quit using it because the cigarettes were just nullifying the good it was doing) - hopefully it will be successful in helping me regain some additional wind.
Shit, I'm like a walking, talking pharmacy!!!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Day 147 without Smoking
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3 COMMENTS:
Doctors and other good-wishers sometimes aggravate the piss out of me on the quitting smoking topic with reactions like that, as if there is something wrong with people being normal and sometimes missing something that used to be enjoyable and a huge part of daily life, every hour, on the hour, for many of us. If I smoked for 20+ years approximately hourly while awake and have been quit 9 months (wow, as of yesterday, actually), then I think it is *well* within reason that I might still once in awhile think about cigarettes. To act like there is something wrong with that makes me want to slap people. There are some folks who can walk away from smoking easily and after a month or less, never look back. Excellent for them! Outstanding, actually! I'm not one of those. I once quit for well over a year and started again. I know that for me, personally, it is of extreme importance that I pay very close attention to what is working for me and not become so complacent that I stop noticing either my triggers or my accomplishments. That includes sometimes "wanting" to smoke but not doing it. Again, that's just me, and you know I'm always going on about each of us having our own paths to walk, but I would have probably had to make some smart ass comment to the doctor at that point. Ugh. Whatever. You are doing great doing your thing, and as long as you aren't actually smoking and starting to even enjoy life without it, then I'd say you are doing it perfectly.
My husband calls our medicine cabinet "The Town Pharmacy". And I'm only 31.
I have the same feelings that you have about "thinking" I may want a smoke. I don't and I won't, but it's been a stressful week and I have had to squash a few strong urges.
Keep up the good work. We're all right here with you.
Oh No Lynda!! You're only a year older than my son - Yeee Gads, I'm OLD!!!!!!
You are doing amazing, keep moving forward.
I wish I had quit when I was your age instead of waiting until I had COPD and lots of heart issues.
I hope you take plenty of photos (or have someone else do it like one of your kids or your husband), we all want to see this Carnival.
I'M PROUD OF YOU GIRL!!!!!
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