What about Toilet Paper

I was reading Suburbqueen and she had a very funny post about toilet paper and funny enough I had plenty to say about the topic (I have to laugh now as it seems funny to the point of being queer).
What do you look for in Toilet Paper? Will the cheapest work for your BUTT or does your TOUSCH deserve/scream for something in the designer realm? Do you use colored or patterned or does plain ole white do the trick? Patterns, Ripples, Cushioned, Lotioned, Single Ply, Double or Triple Plyed? Now about your Toilet Paper Roller, is it plain, scented, multiple, single?
Is your Toilet a short one, a tall one, white, colored? How many do you have in your home?

Hey wait a minute, can you believe that TOILET PAPER has so many choices to be made, that there is an entire industry devoted solely to your BUTT?

In actuality, Toilet Paper is quite important to me. I really do like the stuff with lotion although it doesn't do a real good job wiping. The rougher stuff on the other hand is more effective but definitely cannot be used all the time for fear of being rubbed raw. I like the ripples more than cushioned, and definitely more than just paper. I like double or triple ply and don't like single ply at all since your fingers go right through it when it's wet - oh gross!! Pooh-Pooh on the finger is URGGGGGG (see me running to vomit).
We have the high toilets and we have 4 of them although one is located outside in the pool house (hmmmm, I guess technically it may be considered indoor), and they are all off-white in color.
No scents for me, the scent that a bathroom radiates is enough by itself thank you very much :):):).

In case you are new to my blog or didn't pay attention in earlier posts, I have a phobia about public restrooms (just can not use them).

Share your TOILET STORIES, inquiring minds really do want to know............