My daughter is almost 29 and is not married nor has she ever been married. She is currently dating a guy that "We" think is ideal for her - which brings me to the question(s) - What traits did you look for in a mate?
I've been married for a good while (31+ years) but in my day, when I was in search of a husband, I wanted the following (not listed in any particular order)
1. Older than me by 4+ years (we know that it takes a man longer to mature)
2. Had a college degree (I didn't)
3. Was stable, not a job hopper and preferably had a job with a future and a pension (we had them in the olden days - my father told me to look for this).
4. Had a sense of humor.
5. Wanted a family although not too many kids
6. Loved me
7. Could hold his own in an argument
8. Didn't have an aggressive temperament.
9. Liked sex enough to want "it" at least 5x a week (that was then and now is another story)
10. Would eat almost anything as I developed my cooking skills
What did you look for? Please feel free to add to this list.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
What traits do you look for in a mate?
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11 COMMENTS:
Mama you've asked a doozy! :-)
I met my hubby when I was 19 years old. He told me he was 19 but was only 17! I had never dated anyone younger than me so I'm happy that he lied. LOL
Well, I guess maybe I wanted sex because he was one hot Italian so we married before a year was up!
He graduated high school June 3rd and we married June 30th. I had turned 20 in May...he was 18.
Next month marks 18 years of marriage to my best friend on earth. I do remember that we ate lots of Ramen Noodles to begin our journey! LOL
I don't think I set "man goals" but God was looking out for me because I got a sweet, loving guy who was a hard worker, with deep dark eyes and dark hair and now he's a Project Manager for a large International Automotive Company...Not too shabby huh?! LOL
Gosh...Memories...I think I'll buy some Ramen noodles. LOL
Shelly M.
The Mom With Brownies
linking to ya. :-)
I'm single MamaFlo and this is what I'm looking for.
A man. the end. lol
Okay, um, integrity, honesty, hard worker, someone who can put me first, a spiritual person, he better know how to freaking read, sense of humor, a clean man, i love a well dressed man, not expensive clothes, but try to look nice, wear a belt, caring, uh dare i say it....i like um, well just be able to keep me smiling.
I agree with you Mama Flo..except I chose younger (and you're right...he still hasn't matured!) I also wanted one that took pride in his appearance...trust me, that changed (especially once he gained 20kg!)and the sex bit Ha! what the heck is that?
But all in all...I'm pretty happy with my choice. It only took 2 goes to get it right!
p.s. Added you to my blogroll :)
Wow, 2 of you went after younger men.........are you going to kiss and tell????? lol
We need to help Natural here find herself a good man.
My husband has definitely gotten better all the way around the older he's gotten. When we retired it gave us the first quality time in our marriage to get to know one another and I have to say that I love him more now because of it.
DEB A MAN THAT I LOVE IS GOOD FOR ME AND ONE THAT LOVES ME AND I BELIEVE IVE GOT THAT AND A HAPPY FAMILY WITH YOU PART OF IT LOVE LINDADEAN
I dreamed of having a man exactly like I have, well, let me correct that in saying he's better than I dreamed of, and he's a hottie too!!!
Hi Mama Flo -
I was one of those "list" kindof gals between my marriages. First time around I just wanted someone who wanted me. That was less difficult than I'd thought it would be - but that didn't mean it worked out (or could...!). He wanted me, alright, but he wanted me to stay young (I was only 5 years younger, but he treated me like I WAS 5), be really grateful and never question him, and ... you get the picture.
Gee... I grew up - and out of that marriage.
It was literally 25 years between weddings (1981 and 2006), so as I continued to grow and raise my kid and date (and have boyfriends but NOT shack up), I developed a lengthy list of qualities I was looking for. Then, over more time, the list morphed and shrunk - I think by the time I met the 'Publican it had simplified yet again.
So here's the final version of my "list" of qualities I knew I needed in a man:
1. Happy with himself and his place in the world;
2. Can accept me as I am;
3. Is a safe place for me;
4. Makes me laugh.
I trusted myself enough to know I would never date a guy who was brutal or had active addictions (one of the best boyfriends I ever had was a recovering alcoholic, so I don't have any anti-AA bias), or was a "happy" bum, or so on. I also didn't put any physical stuff on the list, because I've always found lots of different guys attractive - I never had a "type".
I also didn't put anything on the list about chemistry because I figured that I wouldn't date someone past one or two dates if there was none there.
Of course what a "safe place" is, is completely subjective and the idea of a person who's happy with himself means a lot of things to me - that's he's figured out his past with his family or any exes, that's he's happy with his career choice, that he's got some other interests besides work - all of that.
So this is a long post with a short list. Actually... I like this so much, I might post it on MY blog and link to your list - which I like a lot, too.
Good post to get some thoughts down!
Happy Wednesday
Zental Floss
Laura
Haha great list. I didn't know what I wanted in a man until I found my husband. The rest is history. :)
Me? I always looked for exactly the opposite of what I needed!
I never made a list! I must have been blessed. My husband has always been loving, kind, a friend, a soulmate, someone I can share everything with, someone I can talk to about anything, someone who knows me better than I know myself, the other half of me, someone who I could spend eternity with and never tire of. Just sitting here and typing this makes me realise how very luck I am. :)
You know. Everything that I looked for I didn't get. I don't know what I was thinking. I love my wife dearly, but what I had pictured in a mate was not what I got.
What is working is that she is fun loving. That was not a trait that I picked out. She acts like a kid as much as I do. Not something I picked out either.
There are many things that I could go on and on.
I wanted someone that would drive me crazy every night in bed. Well, I have that. She drives me crazy by not giving me any because she is not in the mood.
So be careful what you ask for. I love my wife more than anything. Love will smack you when you are not looking so watch out.
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