Comments on MamaFlo's Place: Why Do People Stare?

Parents often don't know what to say however I thi...

2009-07-18T02:27:12.562-05:00

Parents often don't know what to say however I think you look beautiful,

Hugs Dorothy

I wish parents would explain it to their kids. Bu...

2009-07-04T10:52:43.171-05:00

I wish parents would explain it to their kids. But I know its easy to be an armchair parent. I don't have children but know at least what's it like to have to think fast about something or to be put on the spot. I know some parents think it is more important to teach their kids not to point and stare and maybe that is what she was doing.

I have to admit, there was a time in my life when I knew a few people who were on oxygen like that, and all three of them were on it because they had illnesses that were directly related to their smoking. The saddest case was one woman who still smoked even though she was on oxygen!! I think that for awhile I assumed that 99% of people on oxygen were on it due to things that could have easily been prevented if they had just put the cig down long ago.

But, later on I learned that there were some people on oxygen that never had smoked, etc., and I couldn't think that way.

Anyway, I think it is okay for children to respectfully ask someone a question. In fact, children learn social skills, and compassion that way. I think that there is nothing wrong with a child coming up to you and expressing concern for you and asking what you machine is for.

That is sad ... but some people just dont get rid ...

2009-06-21T21:57:48.935-05:00

That is sad ... but some people just dont get rid of acting awkward.You cant help them . So just ignore .. That is the only solution. :)

We had the same thing with my Dad when he was aliv...

2009-06-21T09:28:52.048-05:00

We had the same thing with my Dad when he was alive, people would stare all the time, and these were adults!

I think it comes from a deep down fear that they won't know what to say or do...because you definitely look different. But how wrong they are, and if they are ever in the same situation, they will realize just how wrong they were.

I always let my daughter know and now my grandson, that if we were out anywhere and they had a question about anything or anybody, to ask me and I would answer it as best as I could.

So, I remember I had taken my grandson to Walmart one day, and as we were walking down the aisle, we passed an elderly lady in a motorized cart, and she too was on oxygen, and as we passed, my grandson turned to look at her (stare a bit) and then after we passed her, he tugged my hand and said "Gram, why does she have wires on her face and ride on that thing?"
So, I squatted down to his level and told him that she must need the oxygen to help her breathe and it comes from a container through the tubes and into her nose to help her.

Just then, the woman pulled up to my squatting form and my grandson's eyes got really big, and she said to him, "Your Gramma is right, I can't breathe without it, want to see more?" And naturally he said yes, so she showed him the container in the basket, and let him listen to the little puffs of air, and he looked at me and smiled. (he understood) She also explained that because she can't breathe well, she uses this motorized cart because she can't walk far without getting out of breathe. Then she asked if he wanted a little ride on the cart? He looked at me and I nodded, and I smiled at her for helping him to understand and not be afraid, and she took him around the aisle and back.

Compassion goes a long way, but you have to have a willing receptacle for it.

If I was a Shhhhher, none of this would have worked. But both my daughter and grandson were brought up with open minds and to understand the differences in people and not to judge them by those differences.

Right now, one of my grandsons best friends is a burn victim, who is terribly scarred and has to wear long gloves, but they play together so nicely, and my Marcus makes accommodations as to how they play to allow Caleb to fully participate.

Sorry, this is so long, I guess I got on my soap box?? LOL

Take care Hon,
No Worries,
Kat

I agree to you nice story about people stare.

2009-06-21T05:28:15.098-05:00

I agree to you nice story about people stare.

I had my first real session of Pulmonary Rehab and...

2009-06-19T21:02:26.573-05:00

I had my first real session of Pulmonary Rehab and I have to admit that they worked my fanny off but it felt wonderful, it's been awhile since I felt so alive - Great Feeling!! I'm in great hopes that I can strengthen my body (and through that my mind) enough to get me really being able to exercise again even if that is with oxygen.

I want to thank everyone for their friendship and support! I wish each of you lived near me so I could give you a hug!

Well, my friend, I look the same way and personall...

2009-06-19T17:54:16.100-05:00

Well, my friend, I look the same way and personally, I think we're beautiful!!!

People are so inconsiderate and rude. On behalf of...

2009-06-19T11:00:48.134-05:00

People are so inconsiderate and rude. On behalf of all the idiots, I'd like to apologize.
I hope you have a better weekend!

I can understand children staring, because it's so...

2009-06-19T00:58:05.967-05:00

I can understand children staring, because it's something different to them. A simple "it helps her breath better" would be a short and easy answer. I have no idea why adults would stare, unless its out of fear that it could be them someday. Next time someone stares at you, smile sexy and blow them a kiss. heehee

I see a lot of people in the sotre I work at who a...

2009-06-17T09:06:31.542-05:00

I see a lot of people in the sotre I work at who are on oxygen.

I agree, parents should take time to explain to their children what such things are when they ask, and not just shush them because the childrens questions are embarrassing to the parents.

Some parents will still take the time to tell thei...

2009-06-16T21:10:15.744-05:00

Some parents will still take the time to tell their children the truth. Most people just don't know what to say without being offensive or rude.

The staring from kids isn't so bad. It's the adults that can be the most bothersome.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

i think people stare cause they have nothing bette...

2009-06-16T19:57:42.535-05:00

i think people stare cause they have nothing better to do with their lives.

Mr New Dilemma - how funny is that!!!! I think th...

2009-06-16T12:08:18.335-05:00

Mr New Dilemma - how funny is that!!!! I think that's a great response and not just for the kids!

honestly I would probably shoosh my kids and expla...

2009-06-16T11:05:29.855-05:00

honestly I would probably shoosh my kids and explain it to them later in private. I think we all have things sometimes that may cause people to stare. Try having chemo with a big fat pregnant belly. Yeah that makes people stare. My daughter Angel had a large birthmark on her lip that caused many to stare when she was younger. However in the middle of a store I would probably prefer to not stop and explain things to them. They may have questions so I would prefer to discuss it with them later. I would probably tell them that too though. Kids especially will point and ask questions about EVERYTHING...so after a while it's not unusual for a mom to just kind of let it in one year and out the other unfortunately.

Ok, I understand the oxygen, but what's wrong with...

2009-06-16T10:16:55.754-05:00

Ok, I understand the oxygen, but what's wrong with your face?? Just kidding.

Kids will be kids right? I mean it's one of those things were you sit back and remember being a kid yourself.

When I was a kid, I didn't think anything about people but knew some kids who did, it was just the way some kids are.

Next time a kid ask whats wrong with your face tell them martians don't breath human air so shut up or you'll eat him,lol.

i guess that's because they don't know not to star...

2009-06-16T05:22:53.907-05:00

i guess that's because they don't know not to stare. that's the case all the time. i make sure i tell my kid if she sees something or someone to please ask one of us in private, after we are removed from in front of the person. it is kind of rude to stare and just blurt out. parents fault. not the kids, they are curious.

Hi Flo, I am so sorry to hear you are in this situ...

2009-06-15T20:04:30.489-05:00

Hi Flo, I am so sorry to hear you are in this situation but I applaud your attitude; yes our young men have fought for our country and have suffered from many disabilities ... and unfortunately they often get stared at too

(overthetopaprons.blogspot.com)

I am old school and I make sure that the diva know...

2009-06-15T13:41:52.061-05:00

I am old school and I make sure that the diva knows the answers to her questions! At two years old, she is already smarter than most 6 year olds and has a better vocabulary!

She is also very used to seeing someone on O2 because her Papa will be on it for the rest of his life!

I am just sorry you have to endure this! Hugs to you!!

Silence breeds fear, and it is sad that parents sq...

2009-06-15T11:56:26.274-05:00

Silence breeds fear, and it is sad that parents squash their childrens natural curiosity. I'm sorry that you are having trouble breathing, and that you are feeling better soon.

Take care:)

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are...

2009-06-15T10:26:12.636-05:00

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are, right now :).

Since I'm old enough to remember how life was for ...

2009-06-15T09:40:26.796-05:00

Since I'm old enough to remember how life was for folks with COPD pre-portable oxygen, I think those back packs are wonderful. My uncle traveled all over the world with his--actually he always carried two in case one ran out. His much older brother was essentially house-bound. BTW, a young friend of mine spent several months with a "Halo" brace that was literally drilled into his head. (He had flipped his motorcycle and was lucky to be alive.) Kids came up to him all the time and he always explained how it worked, and No, it didn't hurt even though it was screwed into his scalp. One little boy told him solemnly that he should just tell people he was from Mars and everyone on Mars wore those metal frames!

I think you still look great Debbie

2009-06-15T07:46:49.256-05:00

I think you still look great Debbie

My 5-yr old has become phobic about anybody wearin...

2009-06-15T01:07:52.424-05:00

My 5-yr old has become phobic about anybody wearing anything different, including simple dust masks. We do, however, take the time to explain to her that it is not anything that will hurt her, it is just that the individual wearing (whatever it is) wants or needs to use it for (insert use). I am sorry that you are having to wear it at all, but also that you have the added burden of being turned into a public spectacle by insensitive passersby. Wishing you all the best!

When you inform your children about anything, it g...

2009-06-14T21:30:16.906-05:00

When you inform your children about anything, it gives them the opportunity to be curious enough to solve the worlds ills when they grow up. We never know who our children will be.

My parents taught me not to comment about anyone w...

2009-06-14T21:17:04.186-05:00

My parents taught me not to comment about anyone with a disability. I remember the first time I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I asked my mom about it, and she angrily told me to hush.

But now hearing how you feel about it I will be sure to tell my kids differently.

Thanks so much for sharing =)

~Tellie